Sitting at the kitchen bar, watching the sunlight in the clouds, I’m deciding what to wear. Listening to the weatherman, I wander, what crystal ball is he looking into? For sure, not the one in his hands! He’s saying clear but I swear it looks like rain. The only thing warm is the coffee cup against my palms. I hate this kind of weather because you never know how to dress. Throwing on my winter coat, I grab a sweatshirt, cap and gloves and think to myself, now I’m prepared. But are we ever? Our best guess might be the worst case scenario.
Not looking back, I start to back out of the garage. Trusting there is nothing behind me, I pull out into the street. I guess I should have looked but for the millionth time, I will be fine. Like kissing my bride good-bye, I trust today will be like tomorrow and like yesterday.
It’s noon and wanting to send my love, I reach for my phone. There’s no answer. What comes to mind? A million thoughts – the “what if’s” are haunting and all of a sudden I’m wondering… hmmm. But I’ve been married for years; I’m certainly secure but there’s a little inkling that something is wrong. I’ll shake it off and go about my day.
Arriving home, I see she’s beat me. What a surprise, or, what is she up to? Dinner’s nice but a little too quiet. Suspicious, I’m afraid to ask. I’ll get my shower and slip under the covers….the place where no bars are held. She’s putting her back to me! My trust is on the line and comfort zone infiltrated. Reminded of the weatherman, I’m trying to prepare for the onslaught of the night. All these years are wrapped up in an instant. There’s no time to ask for prayer unless I’m trying to save myself. So I go to God where trust originates. A clap of thunder and it’s not just three of us anymore – God, her, and I. Now I know it’s four!
Learning to trust, it’s faith that’s granted but still, there’s doubt after all these years. Feeling for my life, I’m trying to prepare but there’s no way my heart isn’t broken. I’m trying to trust with suspicion arising but it’s like painting rust… hopefully it will go away. Trusting in a can of paint is much the same as believing in the honesty of a liar.
So it’s back to square one. I don’t know how to cope with the elements at hand. Now it’s me that wishes I had a crystal ball. But the only peak I see is that which God determines. Protecting me, God wards off the evil spirits. Staying diligent in my Father’s faith, He instills in me, Learning to Trust 101….
How trusting are you?? Share your experiences….
Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! (Psalms 44:4)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)
For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. … (Romans 7:15-24)
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. (Proverbs 31:11)