Learning To Trust

…..go to God where trust originates.

trusting


Sitting at the kitchen bar, watching the sunlight in the clouds, I’m deciding what to wear. Listening to the weatherman, I wander, what crystal ball is he looking into? For sure, not the one in his hands! He’s saying clear but I swear it looks like rain. The only thing warm is the coffee cup against my palms. I hate this kind of weather because you never know how to dress. Throwing on my winter coat, I grab a sweatshirt, cap and gloves and think to myself, now I’m prepared. But are we ever? Our best guess might be the worst case scenario.

Not looking back, I start to back out of the garage. Trusting there is nothing behind me, I pull out into the street. I guess I should have looked but for the millionth time, I will be fine. Like kissing my bride good-bye, I trust today will be like tomorrow and like yesterday.

It’s noon and wanting to send my love, I reach for my phone. There’s no answer. What comes to mind? A million thoughts – the “what if’s” are haunting and all of a sudden I’m wondering… hmmm. But I’ve been married for years; I’m certainly secure but there’s a little inkling that something is wrong. I’ll shake it off and go about my day.

Arriving home, I see she’s beat me. What a surprise, or, what is she up to? Dinner’s nice but a little too quiet. Suspicious, I’m afraid to ask. I’ll get my shower and slip under the covers….the place where no bars are held. She’s putting her back to me! My trust is on the line and comfort zone infiltrated. Reminded of the weatherman, I’m trying to prepare for the onslaught of the night. All these years are wrapped up in an instant. There’s no time to ask for prayer unless I’m trying to save myself. So I go to God where trust originates. A clap of thunder and it’s not just three of us anymore – God, her, and I. Now I know it’s four!

Learning to trust, it’s faith that’s granted but still, there’s doubt after all these years. Feeling for my life, I’m trying to prepare but there’s no way my heart isn’t broken. I’m trying to trust with suspicion arising but it’s like painting rust… hopefully it will go away. Trusting in a can of paint is much the same as believing in the honesty of a liar.

So it’s back to square one. I don’t know how to cope with the elements at hand. Now it’s me that wishes I had a crystal ball. But the only peak I see is that which God determines. Protecting me, God wards off the evil spirits. Staying diligent in my Father’s faith, He instills in me, Learning to Trust 101….

How trusting are you??  Share your experiences….

trust 3

Religion Blogs
Religion blogs


Related Articles:

Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! (Psalms 44:4)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. … (Romans 7:15-24)

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. (Proverbs 31:11)

trust 2

Grace Estates

…if only I knew what I wish was possible as God calls from upon the hill


Sometimes life is truer than fiction. You finish reading an excerpt and while walking away, you wonder if it’s true. And then there are times when God puts things so squarely in your face you miss it! You absolutely can’t even see what He’s trying to do. The examples are too numerous.

As I drive every morning, the sun rises over the foot hills and my vision blurs. It’s a winding, little back road that not many use. It’s in disrepair with lots of curves. But there’s a place I pass every morning and afternoon and I dare not stop. A wrought iron gate is ajar; the invitation is so inviting but I’m not worthy to enter so I drive on with a mere glimpse. How I would love to live there!

Passing the gates, I break. I sense God’s calling but I, a mere pauper, could never fill the proprietor’s shoes. I might, though, be lucky enough to get the mail or take the garbage to the end of the hill but certainly not to own a mansion such as this.

Though I pass by and dream, reality is just a few miles away. But oh, how could I not dream of sharing my life with the one I love behind the gates called Grace Estates? Only God opens doors to let us peak at what’s in store. Though we gaze out into the wild yonder, held captive by reality, the presence of God is abundant.

Whisking through another week, so far I’ve heard God’s calling ten times. How I wish I could turn left and enter in the gates ajar! I dare to trust. My faith restrains my spirit; if only I knew what I wish was possible as God calls from upon the hill. I fear only my lack of faith while flying down the back roads, running late. I guess God’s going to have to wait; too many bills that I must pay. And I realize the metaphor – my windows are rolled up.

God, I pray your hands control my very existence – no time to stop and smell the roses. But someday I’ll stop and get out of my car. I’ll put my right hand on top of the open gate and walk up the hill of Grace Estates.

 

Grace Estates

 


Related Articles:

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:29)

The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honor and life. (Proverbs 22:4)

Restitution

He knows our debts owed, as life’s score is 10 – 0


Returning back to my childhood home was like having a reunion with my third grade teacher – too broad to fit, and too old to try to prove I could sit. I’d rather stand anyway. Coming from a prestigious place, where the river rounds and heads north of Annapolis, I’m reminded of the lustful color, following the shoreline up the river.  Memories elude to times when wishes were merely unanswered dreams. Looking back at the losses, I tried to follow my heart and only found being broke was my resolution.

So, I moved away and started again; never looking back. Life had soured within my soul. It was fruitless, as routines were commonplace and that’s the end – well not exactly. Tonight, I find myself wandering off to a place where I ask God for my restitution. He knows our debts we owe, as life’s score is 10 – 0. We ask our Lord, “Will we ever win??” I know my story is ordinary and one that many can relate to. I ask God to guide me, for I am giving up as, once again, I am the ride.

Being eternally grateful, God has proven His ever presence to me. It is a testimonial you wouldn’t believe, but, I keep my faith. God has blessed me – restitution paid! As far as ten times over, the score, now, is life and me – tied. That story is complicated, another book perhaps; as God sends me on a mission to retrieve the soul mate I never had. He knows, though, and now my life has made a one eighty. It’s not for fortune or fame, but, for the love God intends us all to have.

The key, unfortunately, is being still – reverently patient. Sometimes, the hell we go through is right here on Earth. For example, I look back at 32 years ago and I ask God, why? Looking for the purpose is one word – timing – all in God’s timing. I’m sure there’s no other answer! Faith plays a part as fate took a role thirty two years ago. It knew more than us! Today, I look back at my personal hell and realize – it’s the dues we all must pay for the reality of our own restitution…..