Vivid Memories

A Loving Christmas Dedication….


It was 1980….. my whole family was around to celebrate the holiday. I’ll never forget Dad in his baggy corduroys, and mom in her Christmas plaid kilt. Home from college, my brother, Chip was out, somewhere, with friends. My dear Gram’s, in the way, was always trying to help. Archaic, you just had to love her! Born in 1901, I bet she had some stories to tell in her day. Dad, God rest his soul…. I’ll never forget the way he sharpened his carving knife. I watched intently year after year. Mom always stood by, in case he needed help holding the bird. My older brother, Jean, would arrive whenever he got there – with a packed truck of the traditional gifts of the season.

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A picture frozen in time! It was to be Mom’s last Christmas. She was loaded with cancer and no one knew it. God, though, gave me the fortitude to capture her legacy in an everlasting Kodak moment (shown above). So I took it, not knowing if life would ever be the same again. It was February when we received the horribly, sad news. Mom started smoking at sixteen. Without a prayer of concern, her life was over at the early age of fifty-eight. She died in September. Soberly, during these holidays, I return to tears of yesteryears. The grave, love I had for her…. I was hell to raise! A determined, dyslexic little boy that needed more of Mom than my brothers could ever comprehend.

Watching the sun peak through the pain, I must give thanks to her. She did the best she could, I know. While flying at 30,000 feet in an airplane, sometime in the mid-seventies, I read about a couple of scientists in England that made a breakthrough on children with my disability. Poor Mom! God rest her soul for putting up with me! She probably still lies in a turmoil of frustration, after trying to raise me an “urchin”. Who knows?? I could have been ADHD, too.

I assure you though, if you think Mom had it rough, she never saw my life behind the curtain I was living. The “silent voice” (A Silent Voice), I came to comprehend. It was, what it was! There’s no changing that nightmare!

Today, during this holiday season, I reminisce. I give her a lot of credit for what she knew not. Born breach and blue, there was little she could do. But today, I thank God for my Mom, “Bless you Mom”! I wish you were here to share in the greatness of what your determined, dyslexic son has turned into. I guess, maybe, through God’s awesomeness, she knows, somehow, that my gift from God was because of her! She certainly died trying…..

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The Color of Greed

No Christians would ever conjure up such a story of hate and disloyalty….


Today, like most days, I started off on a positive note – blue sky and lots of sun. Feeling the power from above, the world needs to be at peace. At least I wish it was so. Driving to work, a melody came that I heard in church. Funny, though, I couldn’t remember the name of it but I hummed it anyway.  No one heard, thank God! I pulled into the driveway. I was the first one there; no sense waiting. I’ll get started without them, I thought to myself.  That was until I realized what I needed at home.

My mood changed as the morning seemed to be disrupted.  The phone rang and the color of the whole world had gone cold.  In my ear, I heard the most bizarre thing I could have imagined. No Christian would ever conjure up such a story of hate and disloyalty to their own sibling.  Like the headline news, the title read, ” Personal Rep absconds with the whole estate”.  I couldn’t believe my ears!  Trying to focus on the job at hand, it gave me little hope. The outcome looked so bleak. I thought, for the love of God, how could a God fearing, church-going Christian, ever treat a little sister as though she never existed? But he did just that!

Arriving home, distraught from the news, the only logical answer was the “Color of Greed,” defrauding your family after their mother’s passing. God must have reserved a special spot for you , IN HELL, I thought . So I sat and listened as you reiterated this farce- a crime so obtrusive, not even could a mother love. The Color of Greed, where money is all that matters and a family is shattered.  The horrible truth is how funds were misused and insurance was pilfered like pocket change.

An attorney was hired but the pieces reminded him of a scrabble board and political correctness overruled. I thought, how evil could a man’s mind work and never allowing God to intervene into his heart?  Here, for sure, Satan conquered and the laws that are broken are a Catch-22.  I held you as the tears swelled, trying to comfort you, for I knew God had to be in this somewhere. I thought about your poor mother who would have killed if she new the truth!

The melee altered the Will even though the Trust was clear.  Though no one saw it, the loans will close and the innocent buyers will never know that this altercation was such a farce. Since then, another close friend has found himself amongst some living that wish he, too, were dead. It amazes me that you never see the real identity of a person until someone passes away, and then — it’s too late! The color of GREED is everywhere.