In the solitude, I listen to the temper, from the many contained in an environment of unforgiving. I, too, stand in the congregation and see the smiles like fake news. I wonder if your joy may be camouflaged, like a father who stands on top his child’s shoes. You look so pretty dressed up in your Sunday attire; your hair is curled – “putting on the dog”, it was once called. But I watch the language of your husband as he hums along with the choir, forgetting the words. Staring over to see who you’re watching, like blinders on a horse, your eyes are only focused forward. The pastor’s last words are spoken, “Go in peace” and you’re the first out the door.
Arriving home, the bedroom door slams and his ultimate persuasiveness begins like a lecture from the pulpit. You just can’t wait until Monday morning when you hand him his lunch pail, turn your cheek, and wish him well. So you build a world where no one’s allowed…. only God and he’s on hold. Looking for an escape to the abuse that never takes a break, your world has caved. Tied to your apron strings, dinner is on the table. You begin to recite grace but it does no good.
The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.
The week begins just like the last week ends….accusations and demands that come from malice. He’s his father’s son. Only his mother knows the hell she put up with when he was very young. Like the family farm, the recipe is passed on. The abuse becomes intolerable, love becomes a routine, and romance is the world you built deep within your mind. There’s no peace on the outside as Dr. Jekyll thrives. You tiptoe like a child that comes in after curfew.
Domestic violence comes in many shapes, not necessarily gender oriented or form. I, too, share the pain as many on the outside never saw the trauma I lived with at home. Giving your suffering to God is the only way out! Living with scars of a broken home resonates for generations, both past and present.
I read the clips of those I know are mistreated by their family and peers. Where has God gone when the choir begins? Your sacraments of holiness are never enough. Being judged under the dirty microscope shows every blemish. Who, though, are we to make that call just because that’s way it used to be. You become a person with little left for God to see. You’re whittled to the size of a toothpick and now pray for a mustard seed.
But as the sun breaks through upon your escape, you will discover there is another world….one of love and beauty. God anoints the living. You call it “a lease on life” – getting out of the web Satan held you captive in for many years. Yes, this is the works of Satan and his angels!
Remember you’re not alone! Reach out to the non-judgmental and let our almighty Lord renew you from the inside out. Praise God that He has saved you and serve others in His name. God’s desire for those involved with domestic violence—both victims and abusers—is healing and wholeness.
You are loved! God bless, God speed…….
A Christian’s View of Domestic Violence
Why would God allow such a thing to happen to me?? Does God really love me?? Where was He when I was being abused? Why God, can’t you help me to change him/her?? I’m a Christian – I can’t leave!
All are justifiable questions that “the abused” do ask. Understand that abusers have unresolved issues that have led them to violence, perhaps routing back to childhood. If an abuser is willing to admit his or her wrongful deeds and desires help, there is hope. But it is important to know that the vast majority of them do not feel the problem is within themselves. Marriage counseling is not an appropriate solution. So healing has to begin with YOU!
1 Corinthians 7:15
But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
Undergo individual counseling, especially Christian counseling, to go through the healing process. If children are involved, family therapy. Children should never be put into an abusive situation or be expected to remain in one! Watching or hearing a parent being abused will have severe psychological implications. They learn by example so let them witness you taking the lead.
“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”
Join a support group with other survivors. “Outsiders”, cannot understand the web you broke through so look for love and comfort from those who can identify with your situation.
Allow time to heal before starting another relationship. The magic formula is half the time you spent within the walls of that confinement.
Read anything and everything you can about domestic violence – particularly books of narcissism. Seek understanding.
Serve our Lord! Join bible study groups at church; if financial means allow, take a mission trip; help the poor by participating in homeless shelters; sit with Seniors at nursing homes. You will find your worth, once again, in others.
Matthew 20: 26-28
Jesus told His disciples, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many”
Local police stations can take you and your children to a shelter for assistance. Safety is first!
From oppression and violence he redeems their life, and precious is their blood in his sight.