Ricochet

Love is like crystal…beautiful until its broke.


Broken_Heart

In the middle of the quiet night, I listen to the creatures as they share a “who is right” conversation. Hearing them squabble, reminds me of you and I. Whoever has the last word doesn’t matter, wrong or right. We fight about the littlest things…you buy the milk; I’ll buy the butter. Like ants crossing a lily pad and the frog has enough of them, he jumps off, for its all he can handle.

So here we are wasting away another day that God hath made, trying to get our last say. At the end of the day, a compromise will certainly be rendered. Back and forth, love, like a ping pong ball, appears to be who serves last – that’s what matters most. Frustrated as pointless accusations hurdle across the net, we speak our peace and words ricochet through our hearts.

Love is like crystal…beautiful until its broke. Worthless in the trash, we pick up the pieces of our fragile relationship, trying to make it last. Like closing the windows after a tornado has passed, only God knows the damage.

Bits and pieces of past history lingers in our own mystery. I wonder, why is life ricocheting from wall to wall? The hurts become deflated egos and common sense lies like broken crystal. “Why?”, is the only word…. not “sorry”, nor regrets. The walls stand tall, impervious to glass being at thrown at them.

Here where faith lies in the balance, fear becomes a common denominator. And where there is fear, there is no faith….do the math. You can’t fix broken crystal.

 


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Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. (Proverbs 21:9)

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, (Romans 3:23)

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My Soulmate….

Our spirits will remain but our love shall never be divided.

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Sitting under the stars, I’m waiting to see that special shooting…one that is coming to take me home. I think about the day when I’ll kiss your cheek and pray we will meet on the other side.

Heaven awaits….God’s calling

I’m not leaving without my love, here on Earth. But I can’t promise that so I smile through the pain, taking my final sip from the communion cup of tea.

I can only wish you know how much I really love you.

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But I’m just glad I’m going where God welcomes.

So I kiss your cheek once more knowing you’re the link between where I’m going and my past. God bless you, my love. You’re the best; you made me what I am.

My spirit so filled, my soul is now ready for the trip I must endure.

I’ll miss you, my love, so please hurry! I’ll be there waiting for you at the pearly. You won’t miss me. I’ll be the one smiling. My life will then be complete.

Thank you, God!

I sit in the dark, waiting on my ray of light. I’ll be the one riding out without a prayer; still knowing where I’m going – straight to heaven. God promises eternal life to those who believe, and I’m one who can’t wait.

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Again, I’ll kiss your face; I’ll feel your skin; I’ll touch your spirit and hold our memories in my mind. For love was born when we met. It may have been a while reaching us, but God saves the best for last….

You, my love, I’ve waited to celebrate the end. God has so blessed me with you.

Words can never comprehend the love I knew because you, too, held onto the hope and faith that someday we’d be one.

Now I must go make a home in heaven where you and I will spend eternity. There’ll be no bills, no debts, or frustrations to sweat. Just you and me walking together.

Our spirits will remain but our love shall never be divided. God knows my heart and yours as well.

I love you for eternity! My soulmate in heaven, I’ll see ya’ later…. I love you princess!

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Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:14)

Learning To Trust

…..go to God where trust originates.

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Sitting at the kitchen bar, watching the sunlight in the clouds, I’m deciding what to wear. Listening to the weatherman, I wander, what crystal ball is he looking into? For sure, not the one in his hands! He’s saying clear but I swear it looks like rain. The only thing warm is the coffee cup against my palms. I hate this kind of weather because you never know how to dress. Throwing on my winter coat, I grab a sweatshirt, cap and gloves and think to myself, now I’m prepared. But are we ever? Our best guess might be the worst case scenario.

Not looking back, I start to back out of the garage. Trusting there is nothing behind me, I pull out into the street. I guess I should have looked but for the millionth time, I will be fine. Like kissing my bride good-bye, I trust today will be like tomorrow and like yesterday.

It’s noon and wanting to send my love, I reach for my phone. There’s no answer. What comes to mind? A million thoughts – the “what if’s” are haunting and all of a sudden I’m wondering… hmmm. But I’ve been married for years; I’m certainly secure but there’s a little inkling that something is wrong. I’ll shake it off and go about my day.

Arriving home, I see she’s beat me. What a surprise, or, what is she up to? Dinner’s nice but a little too quiet. Suspicious, I’m afraid to ask. I’ll get my shower and slip under the covers….the place where no bars are held. She’s putting her back to me! My trust is on the line and comfort zone infiltrated. Reminded of the weatherman, I’m trying to prepare for the onslaught of the night. All these years are wrapped up in an instant. There’s no time to ask for prayer unless I’m trying to save myself. So I go to God where trust originates. A clap of thunder and it’s not just three of us anymore – God, her, and I. Now I know it’s four!

Learning to trust, it’s faith that’s granted but still, there’s doubt after all these years. Feeling for my life, I’m trying to prepare but there’s no way my heart isn’t broken. I’m trying to trust with suspicion arising but it’s like painting rust… hopefully it will go away. Trusting in a can of paint is much the same as believing in the honesty of a liar.

So it’s back to square one. I don’t know how to cope with the elements at hand. Now it’s me that wishes I had a crystal ball. But the only peak I see is that which God determines. Protecting me, God wards off the evil spirits. Staying diligent in my Father’s faith, He instills in me, Learning to Trust 101….

How trusting are you??  Share your experiences….

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Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! (Psalms 44:4)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. … (Romans 7:15-24)

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. (Proverbs 31:11)

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Vows

United in love, our hearts are joined like two doves


In this excruciating heat, my brow is drenched and my words escape me. My love pours out like sweat from my heart. I often stop in the middle of my day and think of you. Love knows no value for there isn’t a price you can put on perseverance.

My heart’s consumed; my conscience overwhelmed; my love knows no boundaries. I love you, redundantly, is all I can say.

Like a morning’s spring flowers, you are a breath of fresh air. I watch the sun glistening in your silky hair and it’s your smile that awakens my dawn. It’s the way you look at me and put your arms around my spirit.

I ponder….what if you and I were Adam and Eve? What if God had made us first in another life? We would plant the earth and give it life. The Garden of Eden would be named after us.

I vow my soul as God has brought you here with me… till death do us part. My heart will never stray contained by your love. I find myself captured by your spirit.

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 So on this bright, cheerful afternoon, I commit all the love God has given me. I give unto you my love. It is my total life… the past and the future. Tonight in the moon light, we’ll toast to the greatest love that two of God’s creatures has ever known.

As I think about the lapse, our hearts were floundering in desperation. It is harmony that keeps our true love alive. And now I sing unto Him; for it is our dear Lord that blesses our union.

United in love, our hearts are joined like two doves; we sing in the morning, so grateful that God prearranged our love. We will plan our destination, as we dream about forever…hand in hand; and walk to the promised land that God wants for us. Graciously accepting this lifetime of completeness, we deserve all the happiness and joy a man and a woman could ever ask for.

May my every morning be filled with bouquets of love. Closing your eyes to the effervescence, you will reach for a vase and put our love on cloud nine. There we will be smiling with our Lord, thanking Him for the flower bed we will lay in every morning….. Amen


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When The Lies Haunt

….as things you trust are all but relinquishing


You lie in bed, night after night, and ask God to release you of this situation; your heart is no longer in it. So many questions – very few answered. As God seems to be ever present, you remain silent and in prayer. This is a time in your life when you wish you could put the earth in REVERSE. But you can’t….

You’re not guilty of a thing, just a need for answers. When questions become obscure and mysteries capture your intuitiveness; you can count the days; this relationship has stop_the_liesslammed into a dead end.

The metaphors are countless, so you go with your soul’s gut. You say, “I told you so” because trust, in its innocence, is first and the language we all bear. The ‘sorry’ never comes. “I’ll be damned if I’m wrong” seems to be the underlying tone. You watch their actions as you hope they are louder than what is spoken. But as metaphors go, silence is golden. Trying to stay strong, you repeat to yourself, “God’s got this”. The nights are long and lonely; the days are inscribed with the truth that lies in the shadows.

You watch their behavior as things you trust are all but relinquishing. The heavens are calling to be forthright as the night slips into the morning sun. Angels hover, but, to no avail as Satan never sleeps. The lies creep in like a flooded shoreline. So, you patiently sit with your arms folded, waiting for the tide to change.

God, I’ll wait for the truth to surface. Amen

 

God’s Way

……peace is granted, by only God


Safe within the domain of my soul, I hear the storms as they roll in. My heart is content, though Satan tries to rule; God has given me the resilience to protect my spirit. Sheltered from the hell of life, I sit quietly, thanking God for everything. The loves I have comfort me – memories that I gather like a bouquet of flowers. Though my life was riddled with abuse, I’ve had time to heal and give the hurt to God. I hear the thunder of a disgruntled sky; there’s no peace in the heavens. Angels won’t fly in stormy weather; we all must heartsguard ourselves from nature’s wrath.

Promising in the eleventh hour, God adheres to calm my stormy life. The strength of prayer, I share with Him, the one who holds us so dear. I think about my mother…. I wish you knew I except your apology. My father, who I dearly loved, was robbed of life early, to sit above. Though it’s an early rainy day, I mourn for the times of my early childhood.

Thanking God for what I have, I count my blessings one by one. God never promised my life would be easy. Saddled in worries, this too shall pass. Like thunder and lightning that reigns in hell, I will stand against the evil forces!

Blessed with a love that’s unexplainable, God knows my heart and He listens to my prayers. I look at your youth, as I reflect on the years past, and wonder, why now does He orchestrate our souls to join? There in the morning storms that brew into the night, peace is granted – by only God. Never questioning his plans, and knowing it was meant to be, we walk together hand-in-hand. Sharing the hell, like lightning in a family tree, we both must grow where God leads us.

Praying to God that angels arrive; like asking permission from a mother, we navigate in our spirits and pray the same. Though the rains may linger outside and nourish the flowers, I hold you tight under God’s umbrella. We will succeed and be protected!

When I see your smile, it reminds me of the sun as it peeks out from beyond the storm clouds. Your touch has reached my spirit that, I only, share with God. You’re there. I just thank my Jesus, for sending this love.

Yard Sale

…..the value on the memories was priceless…..


The day after, my best friend came over to see if they could help. Bewildered and helpless, not knowing where to start, we sat on the edge of the bed holding each other. Sobbing, we remembered all the good times.

This was going to be very hard; everything around me reminded me of him.  My world seemed like it was collapsing; I had no idea what I was going to do with all the things that meant so much to us. All those memories – the keepsakes of places we shared, birthday gifts and cards, didn’t mean much anymore.

Friday, in the pouring rain, I knelt in the mud and kissed your casket, whispering, “goodbye for good”.  In pain, I left you for the last time. Trembling and wondering, like the rest, of what was normal, has now changed. The limousine ride gave little relief – soaking wet!  I needed to change and get out of these wet things.

Early Saturday morning, after sorting and boxing, I walked to the edge of the drive. I stuck a sign in the ground, “Yard Sale”. Yes. All our many years of th97SJR9YA (2)matrimony, and a week later had turned into a yard sale. Sadly, the value on the memories was priceless, even though the little tags said fifty cents and all items in the box were a quarter.

The next day I went to church. I thought I sinned – selling your stuff; but as I was comforted by the congregation singing. There was, somehow, a peace in His presence.

I returned to your grave, reverently praying. I thought about how much I’m going to miss you. For what it’s worth, I grossed $357.60 – not very much for all the love we shared together.

Now, on our anniversary, I am going out to dinner to commemorate your life. There will never be another you! With sadness, I look back at all our many years of love, now only resolved to not much more than a “Yard Sale”.