When Hate Is Loved

….history repeats itself as nothing is learned.


Coming home from a hard day’s work, I listen to the rhetoric that plagues our country. I love the drive, a peaceful little back road. The groundhogs sit up and watch as I pass and the deer graze along the shoulder. It’s like driving back through time. The trees sway and shadows my drive on this hot summer afternoon, giving me comfort on the ride home. A passing wave from an oncoming car whom you don’t know, tells they’re enjoying their ride home too. But the rhetoric on the radio, well….it’s another world out there.

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There’s no hurry driving down a winding road; no traffic jams. It’s just me with God sitting beside me. Arriving home to my manicured lawn, the roses greet me. My tired bones rejuvenate by the intertwined pinks and reds. Wow! What a gorgeous sight!

So another day comes to an end; no one died, not a shot was fired, and my boss even chuckled about our way of life. God, I love my life. Even my future looks promising. Another beautiful sunset, too, with shades that are indescribable.

Sitting down to dinner and saying grace, it’s the same old story in the background. “These people hate those people” and, “politically correct” is headline news. Those that said grace together now stand on opposite sides, swearing and throwing stones. A tear comes as we bow our heads and hold hands. Grace is all God asks for.

For the love of God, I can’t imagine anything constructive derived from hate! Memories are removed from town square. God won’t bless the hell that’s born when hate is loved. Looking for comfort as the bloody are posted on the internet, I wonder…. if it were Christ, would those posing as gladiators carry Bibles instead?

The night now reigns and God deems who’s worthy. The bloodshed in the streets now becomes the statue. And history repeats itself as nothing is learned. We’re reminded of the eternal flame that burns for those who gave their all. They never had the chance to see that sin plastered in the early morning light.

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My God shows no mercy on those that loves hate….their days are numbered. They’ll never find the peace that comes in the afternoon leaving work; as the little groundhog sits up and says, “God loves you”; or the waving hand showing “brotherly love”.

 


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Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. (1 John 2:9)

But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (Matthew 5:44)

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (Galatians 3:28)

 


Editor’s Notes:

Did You Know???

Battle flags become totems for the men who served under them, for their sacrifices. They assume emotional significance for soldiers’ families and their descendants. Anyone today hoping to understand why so many Americans consider the flag an object of hatred must understand its status as a memorial to the Confederate soldier. These flags will always be contentious symbols as long as people still argue about the Civil War, its causes and its conduct.

Kappa Alpha was a fraternity that introduced Confederate symbols into collegiate life. It was in the hands of students that the flag burst onto the political scene in 1948.

Truckers, motorcycle riders and “good ol’ boys” (most famously depicted in the popular television show The Dukes of Hazzard) gave the flag a new meaning that transcends the South and even the United States.

We know that we must study the flag’s entire history if we wish to understand the history that is happening around us today.

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A Riots Rant

No, this is not one of my regular blogs but from my soggy back porch, I have the urge to rant!

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For once, being old is somewhat of an advantage. I have seen, and was once, unwillingly, involved where riots were going on…. more than I can count! From the “Little Rock Nine” in ’57, to “four dead in Ohio” in ’70 (which brought out the largest force of national guard), to the Baltimore racially provoked in ’70-’71; more recently, the LA riots (Rodney King riots), Baltimore & Ferguson riots, and now Charlottesville, Virginia. The pictures all look the same. So, what have we learned in the 60 odd years, that I recall? The bloodshed and tears that never made a difference!

Today we see riots that are infiltrated by immigrants out-of-state. Is trying to mutilate a statue the answer? Condemning history is like rebuking your great grandparents. Come on people! Have you nothing better to do than show your ignorance?

Hitler is dead, I’m sorry to inform you. Slaves were both black and white. God bless you if you can do my job better than me! Equal rights?? Get off your duff and show your worth!

Finally, every city pays two departments for protecting the welfare of others – the police and fire departments. For years I’ve asked why get the police involved as nothing changes. But my simple truth is to merely take ONE fire truck and douse the unruly crowd. It would disperse the tempers. Not to mention declaring the cell phones as dead. Why not? I wonder.

I’m for change too, but PLEASE QUIT KILLING!!!

When A Picture’s Worth A Thousand

Watching the world poised for action, we need to diligently seek grace.


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Speaking patriotically, I listen to the views as opinions are too numerous to mention. A true believer, we are all under God and I seek the best for all the country. The military, the meek, the wealthy that knows yet seeks to destroy. Even nature wants to preserve. We spend our lives trying to endure and do what’s right for the welfare of our descendants. Praying to pass on the promises instilled in us as children, we strive in our commitment to God to make a difference.

What matters more than heritage? We stand like statues to the wind, like the Wye Oak, as seasons change a landmark to our community. But one thing for sure, we hold our flag dear to our hearts. Our allegiance we pledge, faithfully.

But I wonder….will our children ever comprehend the complacency we constructed for them? They will never see a draft where destiny is decided by the luck of a straw. We were plunged from high school to a battlefield, fighting for our lives. Forget the enemy! Staying alive was priority. Kids can’t relate unless of course they enlisted in a branch.

I call on the weak to rise and be counted. God needs us! We are the chosen to serve and protect what’s left. Watching the world poised for action, we need to diligently seek grace.

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Caring about our tomorrows, God grant us salvation; our peace and joy we proclaim for the children’s sake that know not….. Amen.

 

 


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Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle; he is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me. (Psalm 144: 1-2)

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:8)

Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. (2 Timothy 2: 3-4)

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127: 3-5)


 

Empty Memories

Not even the scrapbook recalls the love ….. turmoil of emotional child abuse


emotional abuse 2In the quiet evening, your mind strays to younger days. Nestled in the love seat, you think about the lonely life that has lead you down the paths of disillusion. There in the confusion, disconnection is a way of life. Heart wrenching, love was in limited supply; not much to go around and rationed like a commodity. It was not associated with warmth but instead, related to the flowers or gardens.

You would sit in your room and play by yourself. Looking out the window, your mother is in her polka dotted blouse, dark slacks, and her garden gloves. She loves her tomatoes and corn on the cob. You just watched …. sitting inside. She never knew the love you desired or saw devotion because it was all about money – how much dad could bring home. You were too young to understand but you knew that love wasn’t suppose look like that. Looking back, you never heard, “I love you”, as you went off to school or while saying your prayers at my bedside.

Animosity seemed to rule the roost. You listened to your friends as they shared their stories on the way to school. They went out over the weekend and as you knocked on their door, you knew they would not be home.

You would have given anything for your parents to include you in their plans. But to throw a ball or enroll you in a curriculum outside of the classroom wasn’t going to happen. Sadly, you would come home and play while most of your friends played at the beach. Softball was the sport.

Yes, it’s sad as those from broken homes look back. You swore you would never do that to your own children. Now those days are long gone too and all that’s left are voids. Not even the scrapbook recalls the love ….. just tarnished empty pages. The snapshots are faded memories you just as soon forget.

For now, life is all but over; the mid-drift spreads and the hair turns gray. Thoughts are all that’s left, like trash to be thrown away. And here you sit as life goes on.

 


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Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psalm 127:3)

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21)

Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise of heart. (Proverbs 11:29)

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

 

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Editor’s Notes:

Signs of Emotional Child Abuse:

 

  • Not showing affection.
  • Ignoring the child’s presence and obvious needs.
  • Ignoring the child when he or she is in need of comfort.
  • Not calling the child by his or her name.
  • Making the child feel unwanted, perhaps by stating or implying that life would be easier without the child. For example, a parent may tell a child, “I wish you were never born.”
  • Ridiculing or belittling the child, such as saying, “You are stupid.”
  • Threatening the child with harsh punishment or even death.
  • Continuous verbal abuse.
  • Comparing the child to siblings or peers.
  • Blaming the child for family problems.

 

Ignoring children’s needs, putting them in unsupervised, dangerous situations, or making a child feel worthless or stupid is child abuse. The result is serious emotional harm. But there is help available!

Parental Alienation Awareness Organization: http://www.paawareness.com

Prevent Child Abuse America: 1-800-CHILDREN or preventchildabuse.org
http://www.preventchildabuse.org/images/docs/emotionalchildabuse.pdf

 

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Almighty Child

Children that perceive such miraculous perception ought to flatter themselves in Holy water. Parent abuse is common….

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The word spread and men came bearing gifts. Animals grazed out in the meadows…. we all know the story. A child was born by miraculous conception. There is no other miracle greater than a child that two parents have been blessed with from God. Ah, yes. But most of us have experienced the blessing of your child’s birth. Then our kids grow up and they have the misconception they can do no wrong …

Too many times, I find friends being scolded by their children. It’s as if the child inherited permission from their grandparents. I sat outside in a refreshing breeze last night and listened to how an adolescent can run their lives better than their parents. Though some have never had the pleasure of bearing a child, the Almighty Child can do no wrong. A legend in their own mind, they believe you won’t find fault with their lifestyle. They wander unto this world having more knowledge and skill than those twice their age.

I believe we have created a new class of people – not rich, nor poor – but the self- righteous. They are perfect but only in a mirror, maybe. I hear the sins of these children that proclaim their innocence. Oh, don’t you wish you could return to the righteousness of youth where you could be as perfect as the children are today??

Telling parents all their faults they have made, it’s as if when they achieve enough demerits they will disown their parents. Somebody needs to shake them and remind them that wisdom comes from failures. If parents were as perfect as Christ, there would be no need to reluctantly remind them how irrelevant they are. When someone passes away, the child waits for handouts!

I remember my dad always said, “Those who live in glass houses ought not pitch the first stone”. I believe he was smarter than me. Children that perceive such miraculous perception ought to flatter themselves in Holy water.

The Ten Commandments are written in stone and now you know why. Children, today, will pay for their raising opinions. It’s as if you haven’t witnessed that rodeo played out before. Oh the roulette wheel your children spin. They gamble their life and all you can do is pray for them.

I wonder how many kids ever took the time to understand the Bible? I pray… not for them but for the parents that have been so badly damaged by their children’s immaculate conception of the philosophical washing – not by holy water but by the storm drains of the world.

 


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And they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear. (Deuteronomy 21:20-21)

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. (Proverbs 13:24)

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. (Proverbs 23:13-14)

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)


 

Editor’s Notes:  Verbal abuse towards parents or other family members by young people is more common than many people think. It is an attempt to control and have power over you or others in the home.  It can happen in families of any culture, religion or situation in life.

Abuse can be a sign of:

  • The children hasn’t learned to control or manage feelings, especially anger. They act out their feelings without using any self-control.
  • The child hasn’t learned to deal with the stresses of life, to solve problems or cooperate.
  • They don’t value or respect other people.
  • They see a parent, often the mother, as weak and powerless.
  • The children are affected by alcohol or drugs. Some drugs can trigger psychosis (being out of touch with the real world) and violence.
  • A young person might act aggressively if they have problems with their mental health.
  • They may be anxious and lash out because they start to think they can’t trust those around them.

Whatever the reason, it doesn’t mean you should put up with it. It is important to get professional help! Many parents find that acting early helps them feel like the parent again. When you do make changes, things seem to get harder before they get better, so make sure you have support. It is important to:

  • Believe in yourself – it isn’t your fault and it doesn’t mean you are a bad parent
  • Learn to remain calm and find ways to deal with stress. Go for walks, have coffee with a friend or do other things that relax you.
  • Build your confidence by patting yourself on the back for each small step you take
  • Talk with someone who can help. Your doctor is a good place to start.
  • Join a group with other parents who are dealing with this too.

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Learning To Trust

…..go to God where trust originates.

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Sitting at the kitchen bar, watching the sunlight in the clouds, I’m deciding what to wear. Listening to the weatherman, I wander, what crystal ball is he looking into? For sure, not the one in his hands! He’s saying clear but I swear it looks like rain. The only thing warm is the coffee cup against my palms. I hate this kind of weather because you never know how to dress. Throwing on my winter coat, I grab a sweatshirt, cap and gloves and think to myself, now I’m prepared. But are we ever? Our best guess might be the worst case scenario.

Not looking back, I start to back out of the garage. Trusting there is nothing behind me, I pull out into the street. I guess I should have looked but for the millionth time, I will be fine. Like kissing my bride good-bye, I trust today will be like tomorrow and like yesterday.

It’s noon and wanting to send my love, I reach for my phone. There’s no answer. What comes to mind? A million thoughts – the “what if’s” are haunting and all of a sudden I’m wondering… hmmm. But I’ve been married for years; I’m certainly secure but there’s a little inkling that something is wrong. I’ll shake it off and go about my day.

Arriving home, I see she’s beat me. What a surprise, or, what is she up to? Dinner’s nice but a little too quiet. Suspicious, I’m afraid to ask. I’ll get my shower and slip under the covers….the place where no bars are held. She’s putting her back to me! My trust is on the line and comfort zone infiltrated. Reminded of the weatherman, I’m trying to prepare for the onslaught of the night. All these years are wrapped up in an instant. There’s no time to ask for prayer unless I’m trying to save myself. So I go to God where trust originates. A clap of thunder and it’s not just three of us anymore – God, her, and I. Now I know it’s four!

Learning to trust, it’s faith that’s granted but still, there’s doubt after all these years. Feeling for my life, I’m trying to prepare but there’s no way my heart isn’t broken. I’m trying to trust with suspicion arising but it’s like painting rust… hopefully it will go away. Trusting in a can of paint is much the same as believing in the honesty of a liar.

So it’s back to square one. I don’t know how to cope with the elements at hand. Now it’s me that wishes I had a crystal ball. But the only peak I see is that which God determines. Protecting me, God wards off the evil spirits. Staying diligent in my Father’s faith, He instills in me, Learning to Trust 101….

How trusting are you??  Share your experiences….

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Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! (Psalms 44:4)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. … (Romans 7:15-24)

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. (Proverbs 31:11)

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IQ 72

…we will find our way in a wavering world.


Squirming in my seat as a bored little boy, my teachers struggled to teach me. English, Math, Biology…. it didn’t matter for the text books all looked the same. Confused, like driving in fog, I found myself stuck at an intersection. You see, I tried hard to pay attention but my comprehension was minimal. Life was leaving me behind.

A football coach started to preach to me one day. “You’ll never amount to anything”, he said, “how can you with your lack of mentality?” A tear came as I cleared my throat. My shoulders hung low; I had no response. I knew not of God to stand with me as stones were thrown. Though demolished by insults hurled at me, my Lord was watching and giving me eternal strength. But I was too young and innocent to understand the beliefs instilled so I ran.

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Life was like a roller coaster. The climbs were challenging and the valleys were never ending but even as a small child with an IQ of 72, God had a purpose. I learned the greatest gift from God isn’t always the gift but “the giving”. As we walk through life, I propose you be ever mindful that even Christ, with all His many quests before Him, leaves a lot of life in question. It is God who holds the answers. Jesus, like a butler, only holds the door when heaven’s gates are opened. For there is no test score that defies aptitudes.

“For there the meek will inherit”, God’s promise to us all. Looking at the road I’ve traveled, doors opened and blessings flowed. I never saw a traumatic loss; blessings were disguised. But somehow life, with its twists and turns, gets sorted out as we grow older. They’re like the dawn – a new light comes and night is calmed. Channeled through life like running water, we will find our way in a wavering world.

 


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I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. (Romans 12:12)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

 

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