Code of Ethics

It is where our Lord holds us close and we pray that believing in Him is the right way of life.


 

Code of Ethics 3

 

Looking back to my younger years , I never understood life. Why do trees blow in the direction of the wind? Why do the leaves turn in the autumn chill? Why does the sun rise in the east in the early morn? My mother tried to explain that it was the way God intended, long before I was born. I guess she was right. I never questioned what she said, although I never understood. But it was actually the principles of life that she was trying to preach.


 

2 Peter 1: 3

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence

 


I grew up fast after Pop passed. Life changed for us. My brother and I never agreed on anything. Respect was a word that was hardly heard but I learned early there was a code. A code to follow…be it God, family, or honoring those you love. But it came with a price. We showered our feelings over the hurts we endured.

All of us learn early in life, somehow, there is a code of ethics we must follow. It is where our Lord holds us close and we pray that believing in Him is the right way of life. We give our hearts to Him as He is our Savior. It gives us direction.

 

Code of Ethics

 

Honoring the past and looking forward to the future, we praise our parents and teach the future generations that God is the common denominator of respect. Humbly we give praise…it is our way of life.

God’s eloquence sustains life for all his creations. I’m humbled by His magnificent beauty and shutter at His presence. We give thanks before we partake. Remember, if it wasn’t for His ever presence in our lives, we would remain in the absence of His grace.

 

Code of Ethics 2

 

 

Let us worship His name!

 

 

 


 

 

Engraved Hurts

Like soldiers on a battleground, our persistent thoughts are marching on….


We sit across the table from each other and the tension rises like ocean waves before a hurricane. Our hearts ache from the daily frustrations. Words fly like cannonballs across the bow. The night is lighting up from the fiery hurts and our broken souls is damforgiveness 2aging our spirits. There is not a “sorry” that can mend the fury; no kindness is coming from giving; no hugs healing the hardened hearts; just short little snippets that become too repetitive to hear. I’m asking for grace to bring some peace to the table. But when two hearts aren’t in sync, God has His work cut out for Himself. Our love is souring like month old milk.

Love, like spring pollen, carries off to a neighbor’s lawn; walls are retaining the temper and silence is becoming enemy number one. So my conscience knocks on heaven’s gates and I’ll pray for our Lord to hear my heart. But like statues in the wind, the prayers are standing guard of the present. Life, cruel at times, has no invitation. Joy, the ultimate restorer between two hearts, is waiting on the other side.

mignon mclaughlin

I’m in awe watching the tears as they flow and sorrow can’t explain the reckoning. Blame is passing like vegetables at Thanksgiving. There is no rhyme or reason. Our Lord sits at the head of the table trying to join our hearts in prayer. Stubborn though, our minds are overruling the prayers. Like soldiers on a battleground, our persistent thoughts are marching on…. I’m carrying the flag trying to surrender but our guns are still drawn.

Morning arrives and a tranquility, like the dew from the night before, is falling over the engraved flowers. Hearts are listening to subconscious minds as we cease fire. Over early coffee, our guns are holstered. An anointing brings a smile as the sun breaks through the thunder. Love is being restored and the sun is warming little petals. God, the only true peacemaker, is reigning over the battlefields of our minds. We sit in peace and the quiet sermon is coming as the gentle breeze rings the wind chimes.

I’m asking myself, could this have been avoided? Unequivocally, yes, if God is first and past hurts are left by the headstones of our deceased memories. We’re limping away, now handicapped from the wounds encountered from the night before.

Mandrell

So, here we are off on our busy day….people to meet, bills to pay, and our Lord is holding down the fort. We are marching off, alone, to fight our own personal battles…

 

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EDITOR NOTES:  Did you ever hurt the person you loved?  Did you say unwanted things?  If you have hurt someone you loved, it is not easy to repair this mistake.  It is time to seek forgiveness.  You may have to go to great lengths to win over the trust once again.

Watch your words in a fit of temper and weigh the pros and cons of every word you utter. If you want to express your anger at an event, target the incident and not the person.

Be truly repentant…

 


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A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; … (1 Corinthians 13:13)

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.   (1 Peter 5:10)

 


forgiveness

Empty Memories

Not even the scrapbook recalls the love ….. turmoil of emotional child abuse


emotional abuse 2In the quiet evening, your mind strays to younger days. Nestled in the love seat, you think about the lonely life that has lead you down the paths of disillusion. There in the confusion, disconnection is a way of life. Heart wrenching, love was in limited supply; not much to go around and rationed like a commodity. It was not associated with warmth but instead, related to the flowers or gardens.

You would sit in your room and play by yourself. Looking out the window, your mother is in her polka dotted blouse, dark slacks, and her garden gloves. She loves her tomatoes and corn on the cob. You just watched …. sitting inside. She never knew the love you desired or saw devotion because it was all about money – how much dad could bring home. You were too young to understand but you knew that love wasn’t suppose look like that. Looking back, you never heard, “I love you”, as you went off to school or while saying your prayers at my bedside.

Animosity seemed to rule the roost. You listened to your friends as they shared their stories on the way to school. They went out over the weekend and as you knocked on their door, you knew they would not be home.

You would have given anything for your parents to include you in their plans. But to throw a ball or enroll you in a curriculum outside of the classroom wasn’t going to happen. Sadly, you would come home and play while most of your friends played at the beach. Softball was the sport.

Yes, it’s sad as those from broken homes look back. You swore you would never do that to your own children. Now those days are long gone too and all that’s left are voids. Not even the scrapbook recalls the love ….. just tarnished empty pages. The snapshots are faded memories you just as soon forget.

For now, life is all but over; the mid-drift spreads and the hair turns gray. Thoughts are all that’s left, like trash to be thrown away. And here you sit as life goes on.

 


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Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psalm 127:3)

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21)

Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise of heart. (Proverbs 11:29)

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

 

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Editor’s Notes:

Signs of Emotional Child Abuse:

 

  • Not showing affection.
  • Ignoring the child’s presence and obvious needs.
  • Ignoring the child when he or she is in need of comfort.
  • Not calling the child by his or her name.
  • Making the child feel unwanted, perhaps by stating or implying that life would be easier without the child. For example, a parent may tell a child, “I wish you were never born.”
  • Ridiculing or belittling the child, such as saying, “You are stupid.”
  • Threatening the child with harsh punishment or even death.
  • Continuous verbal abuse.
  • Comparing the child to siblings or peers.
  • Blaming the child for family problems.

 

Ignoring children’s needs, putting them in unsupervised, dangerous situations, or making a child feel worthless or stupid is child abuse. The result is serious emotional harm. But there is help available!

Parental Alienation Awareness Organization: http://www.paawareness.com

Prevent Child Abuse America: 1-800-CHILDREN or preventchildabuse.org
http://www.preventchildabuse.org/images/docs/emotionalchildabuse.pdf

 

emotional abuse

 

 

Almighty Child

Children that perceive such miraculous perception ought to flatter themselves in Holy water. Parent abuse is common….

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The word spread and men came bearing gifts. Animals grazed out in the meadows…. we all know the story. A child was born by miraculous conception. There is no other miracle greater than a child that two parents have been blessed with from God. Ah, yes. But most of us have experienced the blessing of your child’s birth. Then our kids grow up and they have the misconception they can do no wrong …

Too many times, I find friends being scolded by their children. It’s as if the child inherited permission from their grandparents. I sat outside in a refreshing breeze last night and listened to how an adolescent can run their lives better than their parents. Though some have never had the pleasure of bearing a child, the Almighty Child can do no wrong. A legend in their own mind, they believe you won’t find fault with their lifestyle. They wander unto this world having more knowledge and skill than those twice their age.

I believe we have created a new class of people – not rich, nor poor – but the self- righteous. They are perfect but only in a mirror, maybe. I hear the sins of these children that proclaim their innocence. Oh, don’t you wish you could return to the righteousness of youth where you could be as perfect as the children are today??

Telling parents all their faults they have made, it’s as if when they achieve enough demerits they will disown their parents. Somebody needs to shake them and remind them that wisdom comes from failures. If parents were as perfect as Christ, there would be no need to reluctantly remind them how irrelevant they are. When someone passes away, the child waits for handouts!

I remember my dad always said, “Those who live in glass houses ought not pitch the first stone”. I believe he was smarter than me. Children that perceive such miraculous perception ought to flatter themselves in Holy water.

The Ten Commandments are written in stone and now you know why. Children, today, will pay for their raising opinions. It’s as if you haven’t witnessed that rodeo played out before. Oh the roulette wheel your children spin. They gamble their life and all you can do is pray for them.

I wonder how many kids ever took the time to understand the Bible? I pray… not for them but for the parents that have been so badly damaged by their children’s immaculate conception of the philosophical washing – not by holy water but by the storm drains of the world.

 


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And they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear. (Deuteronomy 21:20-21)

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. (Proverbs 13:24)

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. (Proverbs 23:13-14)

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)


 

Editor’s Notes:  Verbal abuse towards parents or other family members by young people is more common than many people think. It is an attempt to control and have power over you or others in the home.  It can happen in families of any culture, religion or situation in life.

Abuse can be a sign of:

  • The children hasn’t learned to control or manage feelings, especially anger. They act out their feelings without using any self-control.
  • The child hasn’t learned to deal with the stresses of life, to solve problems or cooperate.
  • They don’t value or respect other people.
  • They see a parent, often the mother, as weak and powerless.
  • The children are affected by alcohol or drugs. Some drugs can trigger psychosis (being out of touch with the real world) and violence.
  • A young person might act aggressively if they have problems with their mental health.
  • They may be anxious and lash out because they start to think they can’t trust those around them.

Whatever the reason, it doesn’t mean you should put up with it. It is important to get professional help! Many parents find that acting early helps them feel like the parent again. When you do make changes, things seem to get harder before they get better, so make sure you have support. It is important to:

  • Believe in yourself – it isn’t your fault and it doesn’t mean you are a bad parent
  • Learn to remain calm and find ways to deal with stress. Go for walks, have coffee with a friend or do other things that relax you.
  • Build your confidence by patting yourself on the back for each small step you take
  • Talk with someone who can help. Your doctor is a good place to start.
  • Join a group with other parents who are dealing with this too.

almighty children

 

Loyalty vs. Respect

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them…..


I sat on a bench watching two teams play. It was so cold my posterior froze to the wooden board of a bench. Bundled against the elements, facing the virtues of nature’s wrath. I could hardly predict the outcome. The teams fought hard, made some good plays and scored some points; but they walked away with arms wrapped around the opposing players. It was the only thing heartwarming on that bitter, brutal Sunday afternoon. The fans, too, huddled their way out of the bleachers. It didn’t matter whose side you were on. Just fighting to stay warm was worth its weight.

As we walked away, it wasn’t so much about who won or who lost. It was the sportsmanship displayed. “Loyalty ( strongly supporting each other) and respect (ability to admire someone for the abilities and achievements) goes a long way when two oppose one another”, I said to the father of one of boys on the opposing team. He smiled, shook my hand and said ” Good game!”. I guess he understood. Happy to be warm from the frigid winter winds, my heart steadily pumped 98.3 degree blood in this minus zero body.

I think about that game every now and then and the camaraderie we felt. I almost wish for a reunion of sorts; call it the coldest respect loyaltygame in Hades!!! But as I stop and tap my pencil eraser on the tabletop, I’ve come to want the same with everyone I know. It’s not just a wife or child but the guy I’m walking out of a stadium with as well. Loyalty and respect go hand and hand; you can’t have one without the other. My heart pales for those that try to live eliminating one or the other. Should I tear into the heartless as they rejoice with the absence of loyalty?  That surely is not respectful.

So tomorrow comes. Will things change? Will God intervene? Will you have patience and understanding? Can you allow the loyalty from love abound? And what about respect? Do you have the same on the scale for a janitor as you do for our Lord? I wonder….

 
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Loyalty: Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. (1 Corinthians 16:13-14)

Loyalty: Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor. (Proverbs 21:21)

Loyalty: Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

Respect: So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12)

Respect: Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. (Romans 13:2)

Respect: We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13)

Wandering Back…

God, somehow, has helped me find my way back to the lemonade stands.


Wandering back 2

My eyes aren’t 20/20 anymore and hearing isn’t what it should be either. But wandering back, winters were winter and summers were hot as haities. I reminisce those times with you.

Leaving doors unlocked and restful nights, are now things of the past. We would open the windows and listen to the locusts after a spring shower. As the hot summer’s heat sweltered, we slept by the fans trying to relax. Yes, life was good back then.

We sold lemonade (and no permits needed) and made lots of money…or so we thought. Mowing yards was an occupational hazard as poison ivy spread like wildfire. Sea nettles dried on the docks as the sun evaporated the life out of them. As I remember, I never thought I’d live so long.

sea nettlelemonade

Those were awesome times to be a kid; always creating ways to entertain ourselves. We’d play all day until dinner time. Dad would say grace and mom repeated, “Put your napkin in your lap !” – “elbows off the table!” Oh some of the things we wish we could forget! Mom really loved me but she reminded me of boot camp reveille. 0600, “Hurry up you’ll miss the bus!” Homework started at 19:30 and bed was at 21:00. Reflecting, I wonder if it was really worth it. I guess parents plant seeds with hopes some will root. They did the best they could under the circumstances…

Associated with five wars now, I’ve lost some friends from high school and a neighbors son’s never made it home. Looking back, my path wasn’t so bad. I guess mom tried hard to protect me because of the hell she saw. I’ve stumbled some but haven’t we all?? But God, somehow, has helped me find my way back to the lemonade stands and my first love.

Our gracious Father is my insurance to a better life. He has granted me the ability to share, through blogs and my books, with those who choose to follow His Holy word. Anointed, I am, through all the turmoil and my fair share of skirmishes…


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All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children. (Isaiah 54:13)

Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children— (Deuteronomy 4:9)

…even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. (1 Corinthians 10:33)


Wandering back

Fifty Years of Broken Pieces

Can we ever break the chain of disaster, the aftermath, generations later?


Rocking back and forth, staring at the stars, they sparkle and bring such luster below. Solar lights glimmer in the dark. The moon, almost full, shines from the heavens and glows on my patio. Thinking back to childhood, sin abated my older brother and I. We are God’s chosen but we carried the hell our parents created. Never understanding, we would walk to school in the early sunny morn’ and home in the afternoon to the rain and thunder. We were unable to explain or comprehend them.

But my big brother was lucky for he ran away — as far as you can imagine – to the Mediterranean. He hid at the bottom of the deep blue with fish and monsters we’ve never seen. I wasn’t so lucky. I went a couple of miles down the street to the community college and faced the music every night.

Long after Pop’s passing, I was sheltered in reality; the past haunted me. There in my mother’s Polly Anna world of bridge clubs and egg nog, a socialite amongst her pillars, I was lost in the waves where the grain wasn’t so amber.

My brother married, leaving me in confusion of the future where only God knew the outcome. But coming from a broken home and then a complete loss, I had nowhere to run. Marriage was the only vise, but failure after failure left little hope. My brother and I both shared the consequences of our parent’s passing long after he was gone.

But yesterday, fifty years later, my brother now writes, “We commemorate that by grace, together, we have somehow come this far; and still today we miss our father’s love. He didn’t share in our lives as we suffered in our tribulations.” Sadly, I responded to my brothers thoughts, “I cannot imagine where we might be had our ladder been labeled by our father’s love.”

Today I think about all those who will relate. Can we ever break the chain of disaster, the aftermath, generations later? Looking at the repercussions from six decades ago of the final decree, disgraces me. To believe they were watching out on our behalf is almost comical, if it wasn’t so sad. So many children are left like Lord of the rings, begging for attention; hungering remains where hearts are left empty. Today as close as two siblings can be, (without killing each other), our love and respect protects us.

In the end, as the sun sets on another commemorative year, I just pray… may God bless, not just us, but all the lonely, parentless children whose lives are unfulfilled; for He knows those who hunger for salvation, still…..

 
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http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/to-the-sons-and-daughters-of-divorce

BIBLE:  But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. [Malachi 2:14-15]

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