Ricochet

Love is like crystal…beautiful until its broke.


Broken_Heart

In the middle of the quiet night, I listen to the creatures as they share a “who is right” conversation. Hearing them squabble, reminds me of you and I. Whoever has the last word doesn’t matter, wrong or right. We fight about the littlest things…you buy the milk; I’ll buy the butter. Like ants crossing a lily pad and the frog has enough of them, he jumps off, for its all he can handle.

So here we are wasting away another day that God hath made, trying to get our last say. At the end of the day, a compromise will certainly be rendered. Back and forth, love, like a ping pong ball, appears to be who serves last – that’s what matters most. Frustrated as pointless accusations hurdle across the net, we speak our peace and words ricochet through our hearts.

Love is like crystal…beautiful until its broke. Worthless in the trash, we pick up the pieces of our fragile relationship, trying to make it last. Like closing the windows after a tornado has passed, only God knows the damage.

Bits and pieces of past history lingers in our own mystery. I wonder, why is life ricocheting from wall to wall? The hurts become deflated egos and common sense lies like broken crystal. “Why?”, is the only word…. not “sorry”, nor regrets. The walls stand tall, impervious to glass being at thrown at them.

Here where faith lies in the balance, fear becomes a common denominator. And where there is fear, there is no faith….do the math. You can’t fix broken crystal.

 


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Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. (Proverbs 21:9)

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, (Romans 3:23)

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A Riots Rant

No, this is not one of my regular blogs but from my soggy back porch, I have the urge to rant!

riot rant


For once, being old is somewhat of an advantage. I have seen, and was once, unwillingly, involved where riots were going on…. more than I can count! From the “Little Rock Nine” in ’57, to “four dead in Ohio” in ’70 (which brought out the largest force of national guard), to the Baltimore racially provoked in ’70-’71; more recently, the LA riots (Rodney King riots), Baltimore & Ferguson riots, and now Charlottesville, Virginia. The pictures all look the same. So, what have we learned in the 60 odd years, that I recall? The bloodshed and tears that never made a difference!

Today we see riots that are infiltrated by immigrants out-of-state. Is trying to mutilate a statue the answer? Condemning history is like rebuking your great grandparents. Come on people! Have you nothing better to do than show your ignorance?

Hitler is dead, I’m sorry to inform you. Slaves were both black and white. God bless you if you can do my job better than me! Equal rights?? Get off your duff and show your worth!

Finally, every city pays two departments for protecting the welfare of others – the police and fire departments. For years I’ve asked why get the police involved as nothing changes. But my simple truth is to merely take ONE fire truck and douse the unruly crowd. It would disperse the tempers. Not to mention declaring the cell phones as dead. Why not? I wonder.

I’m for change too, but PLEASE QUIT KILLING!!!

Engraved Hurts

Like soldiers on a battleground, our persistent thoughts are marching on….


We sit across the table from each other and the tension rises like ocean waves before a hurricane. Our hearts ache from the daily frustrations. Words fly like cannonballs across the bow. The night is lighting up from the fiery hurts and our broken souls is damforgiveness 2aging our spirits. There is not a “sorry” that can mend the fury; no kindness is coming from giving; no hugs healing the hardened hearts; just short little snippets that become too repetitive to hear. I’m asking for grace to bring some peace to the table. But when two hearts aren’t in sync, God has His work cut out for Himself. Our love is souring like month old milk.

Love, like spring pollen, carries off to a neighbor’s lawn; walls are retaining the temper and silence is becoming enemy number one. So my conscience knocks on heaven’s gates and I’ll pray for our Lord to hear my heart. But like statues in the wind, the prayers are standing guard of the present. Life, cruel at times, has no invitation. Joy, the ultimate restorer between two hearts, is waiting on the other side.

mignon mclaughlin

I’m in awe watching the tears as they flow and sorrow can’t explain the reckoning. Blame is passing like vegetables at Thanksgiving. There is no rhyme or reason. Our Lord sits at the head of the table trying to join our hearts in prayer. Stubborn though, our minds are overruling the prayers. Like soldiers on a battleground, our persistent thoughts are marching on…. I’m carrying the flag trying to surrender but our guns are still drawn.

Morning arrives and a tranquility, like the dew from the night before, is falling over the engraved flowers. Hearts are listening to subconscious minds as we cease fire. Over early coffee, our guns are holstered. An anointing brings a smile as the sun breaks through the thunder. Love is being restored and the sun is warming little petals. God, the only true peacemaker, is reigning over the battlefields of our minds. We sit in peace and the quiet sermon is coming as the gentle breeze rings the wind chimes.

I’m asking myself, could this have been avoided? Unequivocally, yes, if God is first and past hurts are left by the headstones of our deceased memories. We’re limping away, now handicapped from the wounds encountered from the night before.

Mandrell

So, here we are off on our busy day….people to meet, bills to pay, and our Lord is holding down the fort. We are marching off, alone, to fight our own personal battles…

 

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EDITOR NOTES:  Did you ever hurt the person you loved?  Did you say unwanted things?  If you have hurt someone you loved, it is not easy to repair this mistake.  It is time to seek forgiveness.  You may have to go to great lengths to win over the trust once again.

Watch your words in a fit of temper and weigh the pros and cons of every word you utter. If you want to express your anger at an event, target the incident and not the person.

Be truly repentant…

 


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A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; … (1 Corinthians 13:13)

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.   (1 Peter 5:10)

 


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Empty Memories

Not even the scrapbook recalls the love ….. turmoil of emotional child abuse


emotional abuse 2In the quiet evening, your mind strays to younger days. Nestled in the love seat, you think about the lonely life that has lead you down the paths of disillusion. There in the confusion, disconnection is a way of life. Heart wrenching, love was in limited supply; not much to go around and rationed like a commodity. It was not associated with warmth but instead, related to the flowers or gardens.

You would sit in your room and play by yourself. Looking out the window, your mother is in her polka dotted blouse, dark slacks, and her garden gloves. She loves her tomatoes and corn on the cob. You just watched …. sitting inside. She never knew the love you desired or saw devotion because it was all about money – how much dad could bring home. You were too young to understand but you knew that love wasn’t suppose look like that. Looking back, you never heard, “I love you”, as you went off to school or while saying your prayers at my bedside.

Animosity seemed to rule the roost. You listened to your friends as they shared their stories on the way to school. They went out over the weekend and as you knocked on their door, you knew they would not be home.

You would have given anything for your parents to include you in their plans. But to throw a ball or enroll you in a curriculum outside of the classroom wasn’t going to happen. Sadly, you would come home and play while most of your friends played at the beach. Softball was the sport.

Yes, it’s sad as those from broken homes look back. You swore you would never do that to your own children. Now those days are long gone too and all that’s left are voids. Not even the scrapbook recalls the love ….. just tarnished empty pages. The snapshots are faded memories you just as soon forget.

For now, life is all but over; the mid-drift spreads and the hair turns gray. Thoughts are all that’s left, like trash to be thrown away. And here you sit as life goes on.

 


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Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psalm 127:3)

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21)

Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise of heart. (Proverbs 11:29)

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

 

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Editor’s Notes:

Signs of Emotional Child Abuse:

 

  • Not showing affection.
  • Ignoring the child’s presence and obvious needs.
  • Ignoring the child when he or she is in need of comfort.
  • Not calling the child by his or her name.
  • Making the child feel unwanted, perhaps by stating or implying that life would be easier without the child. For example, a parent may tell a child, “I wish you were never born.”
  • Ridiculing or belittling the child, such as saying, “You are stupid.”
  • Threatening the child with harsh punishment or even death.
  • Continuous verbal abuse.
  • Comparing the child to siblings or peers.
  • Blaming the child for family problems.

 

Ignoring children’s needs, putting them in unsupervised, dangerous situations, or making a child feel worthless or stupid is child abuse. The result is serious emotional harm. But there is help available!

Parental Alienation Awareness Organization: http://www.paawareness.com

Prevent Child Abuse America: 1-800-CHILDREN or preventchildabuse.org
http://www.preventchildabuse.org/images/docs/emotionalchildabuse.pdf

 

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Almighty Child

Children that perceive such miraculous perception ought to flatter themselves in Holy water. Parent abuse is common….

almighty children 2


The word spread and men came bearing gifts. Animals grazed out in the meadows…. we all know the story. A child was born by miraculous conception. There is no other miracle greater than a child that two parents have been blessed with from God. Ah, yes. But most of us have experienced the blessing of your child’s birth. Then our kids grow up and they have the misconception they can do no wrong …

Too many times, I find friends being scolded by their children. It’s as if the child inherited permission from their grandparents. I sat outside in a refreshing breeze last night and listened to how an adolescent can run their lives better than their parents. Though some have never had the pleasure of bearing a child, the Almighty Child can do no wrong. A legend in their own mind, they believe you won’t find fault with their lifestyle. They wander unto this world having more knowledge and skill than those twice their age.

I believe we have created a new class of people – not rich, nor poor – but the self- righteous. They are perfect but only in a mirror, maybe. I hear the sins of these children that proclaim their innocence. Oh, don’t you wish you could return to the righteousness of youth where you could be as perfect as the children are today??

Telling parents all their faults they have made, it’s as if when they achieve enough demerits they will disown their parents. Somebody needs to shake them and remind them that wisdom comes from failures. If parents were as perfect as Christ, there would be no need to reluctantly remind them how irrelevant they are. When someone passes away, the child waits for handouts!

I remember my dad always said, “Those who live in glass houses ought not pitch the first stone”. I believe he was smarter than me. Children that perceive such miraculous perception ought to flatter themselves in Holy water.

The Ten Commandments are written in stone and now you know why. Children, today, will pay for their raising opinions. It’s as if you haven’t witnessed that rodeo played out before. Oh the roulette wheel your children spin. They gamble their life and all you can do is pray for them.

I wonder how many kids ever took the time to understand the Bible? I pray… not for them but for the parents that have been so badly damaged by their children’s immaculate conception of the philosophical washing – not by holy water but by the storm drains of the world.

 


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And they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear. (Deuteronomy 21:20-21)

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. (Proverbs 13:24)

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. (Proverbs 23:13-14)

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)


 

Editor’s Notes:  Verbal abuse towards parents or other family members by young people is more common than many people think. It is an attempt to control and have power over you or others in the home.  It can happen in families of any culture, religion or situation in life.

Abuse can be a sign of:

  • The children hasn’t learned to control or manage feelings, especially anger. They act out their feelings without using any self-control.
  • The child hasn’t learned to deal with the stresses of life, to solve problems or cooperate.
  • They don’t value or respect other people.
  • They see a parent, often the mother, as weak and powerless.
  • The children are affected by alcohol or drugs. Some drugs can trigger psychosis (being out of touch with the real world) and violence.
  • A young person might act aggressively if they have problems with their mental health.
  • They may be anxious and lash out because they start to think they can’t trust those around them.

Whatever the reason, it doesn’t mean you should put up with it. It is important to get professional help! Many parents find that acting early helps them feel like the parent again. When you do make changes, things seem to get harder before they get better, so make sure you have support. It is important to:

  • Believe in yourself – it isn’t your fault and it doesn’t mean you are a bad parent
  • Learn to remain calm and find ways to deal with stress. Go for walks, have coffee with a friend or do other things that relax you.
  • Build your confidence by patting yourself on the back for each small step you take
  • Talk with someone who can help. Your doctor is a good place to start.
  • Join a group with other parents who are dealing with this too.

almighty children

 

Learning To Trust

…..go to God where trust originates.

trusting


Sitting at the kitchen bar, watching the sunlight in the clouds, I’m deciding what to wear. Listening to the weatherman, I wander, what crystal ball is he looking into? For sure, not the one in his hands! He’s saying clear but I swear it looks like rain. The only thing warm is the coffee cup against my palms. I hate this kind of weather because you never know how to dress. Throwing on my winter coat, I grab a sweatshirt, cap and gloves and think to myself, now I’m prepared. But are we ever? Our best guess might be the worst case scenario.

Not looking back, I start to back out of the garage. Trusting there is nothing behind me, I pull out into the street. I guess I should have looked but for the millionth time, I will be fine. Like kissing my bride good-bye, I trust today will be like tomorrow and like yesterday.

It’s noon and wanting to send my love, I reach for my phone. There’s no answer. What comes to mind? A million thoughts – the “what if’s” are haunting and all of a sudden I’m wondering… hmmm. But I’ve been married for years; I’m certainly secure but there’s a little inkling that something is wrong. I’ll shake it off and go about my day.

Arriving home, I see she’s beat me. What a surprise, or, what is she up to? Dinner’s nice but a little too quiet. Suspicious, I’m afraid to ask. I’ll get my shower and slip under the covers….the place where no bars are held. She’s putting her back to me! My trust is on the line and comfort zone infiltrated. Reminded of the weatherman, I’m trying to prepare for the onslaught of the night. All these years are wrapped up in an instant. There’s no time to ask for prayer unless I’m trying to save myself. So I go to God where trust originates. A clap of thunder and it’s not just three of us anymore – God, her, and I. Now I know it’s four!

Learning to trust, it’s faith that’s granted but still, there’s doubt after all these years. Feeling for my life, I’m trying to prepare but there’s no way my heart isn’t broken. I’m trying to trust with suspicion arising but it’s like painting rust… hopefully it will go away. Trusting in a can of paint is much the same as believing in the honesty of a liar.

So it’s back to square one. I don’t know how to cope with the elements at hand. Now it’s me that wishes I had a crystal ball. But the only peak I see is that which God determines. Protecting me, God wards off the evil spirits. Staying diligent in my Father’s faith, He instills in me, Learning to Trust 101….

How trusting are you??  Share your experiences….

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Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! (Psalms 44:4)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. … (Romans 7:15-24)

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. (Proverbs 31:11)

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The Rodeo Drama

……lessons that scorned the fragile heart


With my feet propped up high above the noise and confusion, I admire the sunset over the pristine waters. I see a couple holding hands with a little child swinging between their arms. The family dog runs into the ocean and runs back to his master, and then decides to shake off. Watching from the twentieth balcony, my Margarita relieves the anguish I left a thousand miles away. I wonder if my feeder still feeds my feathered friends at home.

Rodeo drama

My focus is altered from that rodeo drama I left or at least until I return. Fast forwarding, it’s sad to think I was lead down a path not blessed by God. So I found a place so far above that heaven was closer. I took the climb to find myself enjoying the beach, sunset and that which ails my aching arches.

Another day renders as it bids farewell. I watch the moon as it crests over the wandering seas. Cradling the stars, a peace is delivered especially for me. God has cursed the mundane. They hide in the pages of my mind by lessons that scorned the fragile heart. Though there is peace on the twentieth balcony, only God can communicate with me now. I stare at the stars and begin to start to count them. But the rodeo drama plays on like a recording in the back of my mind.

Miles of distance apart, I wonder if you knew the pain and suffering I went through? You stabbed me in my spirit and my life altered. They rushed me to a sanctuary and God saved my soul. The rodeo drama still plays on but without me. I can hear the scenes of act number five, from the twentieth balcony where it echoes in the halls below me.

Born once more, I’m slamming the last of the doors that remain open. I shut that chapter and turn the page. I realize now, God has saved the best for last. You were little less than a speed bump in my life.

Miracles only happen when you allow your life to be an open book. I have closed the gates on the rodeo drama I left miles away…. twenty floors below.


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I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naïve. (Romans 16:17-18)

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.   (James 1:26)

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.   (Ephesians 4:29)