Looking In The Mirror

….I have longed for contentment where God’s concerned


(R.I.P. Michael Jackson)


A cool breeze penetrates my soul as the warmth from above has grown cold. The summer’s heat has turned into fall as the rainy weekends set the stage for the upcoming holidays. I so love the extravagant colors! Things so green turn brightly bold in shades of brown, yellow and gold. But the shades of gray tell the story. Reflecting on my moonlit night, I sail my heart onto calm waters. Thanking God for the gift of life, I finally made it to my golden times.

The winds whirl from around the edge and gathering summer’s foliage becomes quite an obstacle. Raking up the flower beds, my little pansies are about to bloom.

Even in our darkest days, we all want flowers to warm our spirits.  Sunflower

Coming inside to escape the chill, a hot shower may thaw my weary soul. Shedding the layers, I catch a glimpse of something in the mirror. Taking a second look, it must have been my mind playing tricks on me. So a steamy resolute will resonate my body, cleansing my thoughts. My eyes closed, I ask only for forgiveness and my heart is cleansed.

Realizing this is only second best to a full blown baptismal in the Jordon River, I’m rejuvenated. God can use me for what’s next. Opening the door, a steamy mirror clearly sends me a message…

All of us, sometimes, wonder if our direction is correct.

A sense of relief has assured my intent. My life full circle, a man with many directions, had shunned religion as I followed my own path. Wronged so many, consciously speaking, I have longed for contentment where God’s concerned. And there on my mirror just one word – “Blessed”.

Looking in the Mirror


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And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his season; there shall be showers of blessing. (Ezekiel 34:26)

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

Know therefore that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God, who keeps His covenant and His loving kindness to a thousandth generation with those who love Him and keep His commandments (Deuteronomy 7:9)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. (Ezekiel 36: 25-27)

The Rodeo Drama

……lessons that scorned the fragile heart


With my feet propped up high above the noise and confusion, I admire the sunset over the pristine waters. I see a couple holding hands with a little child swinging between their arms. The family dog runs into the ocean and runs back to his master, and then decides to shake off. Watching from the twentieth balcony, my Margarita relieves the anguish I left a thousand miles away. I wonder if my feeder still feeds my feathered friends at home.

Rodeo drama

My focus is altered from that rodeo drama I left or at least until I return. Fast forwarding, it’s sad to think I was lead down a path not blessed by God. So I found a place so far above that heaven was closer. I took the climb to find myself enjoying the beach, sunset and that which ails my aching arches.

Another day renders as it bids farewell. I watch the moon as it crests over the wandering seas. Cradling the stars, a peace is delivered especially for me. God has cursed the mundane. They hide in the pages of my mind by lessons that scorned the fragile heart. Though there is peace on the twentieth balcony, only God can communicate with me now. I stare at the stars and begin to start to count them. But the rodeo drama plays on like a recording in the back of my mind.

Miles of distance apart, I wonder if you knew the pain and suffering I went through? You stabbed me in my spirit and my life altered. They rushed me to a sanctuary and God saved my soul. The rodeo drama still plays on but without me. I can hear the scenes of act number five, from the twentieth balcony where it echoes in the halls below me.

Born once more, I’m slamming the last of the doors that remain open. I shut that chapter and turn the page. I realize now, God has saved the best for last. You were little less than a speed bump in my life.

Miracles only happen when you allow your life to be an open book. I have closed the gates on the rodeo drama I left miles away…. twenty floors below.


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I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naïve. (Romans 16:17-18)

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.   (James 1:26)

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.   (Ephesians 4:29)

 


Things I Wished I Changed

Our past is the foundation of tomorrow…..


In a peaceful breeze that filters through the cedar columns, I sit on the front porch rocking; meditating about things I’d like to change. So my mind wanders off into space…. I guess you could say I’m daydreaming . The refreshing winds do little for my incentive as I’m about to fall asleep. I ask you, what would you change in your life if you could?

I ponder why God makes an example of me. I’m so different from a decade ago – poor in spirit, alone, and nothing manifested. I had to come to grips that only God could really change me.

With no sun to paint a pretty picture, I was very accident prone. I shouldn’t have lived much past the age of five. An eight hour surgery should have ended my existence, but it didn’t, somehow. At eight years old, I learned to sailor dive in three feet of water; boy that was a bloody mistake! No one told me to keep my head back….

In the boot camp training of dings, cuts, scrapes and bruises, I’m lucky I’m still intact. But life is a marvelous gift, compliments of God above. We have all had our brushes with destiny, yet we made it through.

I ask our Lord, why am I writing this right now? Is there a purpose? I think of things I wish I could have changed – the experiences that made me, Me. It’s easy – not one thing!

In the mirror, I see a little boy who lost his father before his prime. I fought to comprehend the meaning of life; I wonder no more. God has brought me to this point of rocking on the front porch, writing to you; enjoying the moment as the winds cool. While sipping on my lukewarm coffee, I don’t question where faith leads me as I review the circumstances of the last six months. But my message is quite simple…

Stand still, let God do his work! You do your own. Don’t grab at a storm that God has removed from your situation. Your personal experiences, whether good or bad, allows you to be where you are today.

Graciously, I offer a thought of conjecture… God made YOU – the imperfections and yet gifts untold. We all have them. Our past is the foundation of tomorrow; stand up and be counted!

Castaways

There we were, side by side, rowing off to another world.


You asked me once, how much do I really love you? The answer was easy, if I could only explain. I think about all the love songs I knew in my younger days. The dances in the dark, on the warm Friday nights, and the hugs I felt as we danced real slow, long into the night. The crowd thinned; you held me tight while sparks flew like the Fourth of July. But your mom came and picked you up and I didn’t even get a kiss good bye…….

The next day, I met you on the beach. We went out on my yacht. You sat next to me on the center seat grabbing an oar and I, the other. We were side by side, rowing off to another world. I got my kiss I missed the night before. We smiled as you laid your head on my shoulder. In the middle of the great big ocean, we’d find an island, and would live there forever.

deserted island
When night fell, we named the stars and snuggled under a blanket until it was time to go. Your dad, you know, was waiting by the door until you came home. Oh, the memories we would share as we grew old… the dreams of young love and promises to hold onto forever. We said “good night” and you took a phone to bed to see if I would call. The memories abound!

Now, those dreams have grown and reality is claiming the years. We sit and watch the sunsets from the porch and reminisce about childhood. Our children now live in their own busy world; there is no time to stop and share in the sunsets. We smile and laugh, remembering, while we hold hands and sip our wine; rocking under those stars above – pretending, all the while, we were out on the ocean; castaways, searching for our island where we fell in love. Hmmm…. when we are young!

Yard Sale

…..the value on the memories was priceless…..


The day after, my best friend came over to see if they could help. Bewildered and helpless, not knowing where to start, we sat on the edge of the bed holding each other. Sobbing, we remembered all the good times.

This was going to be very hard; everything around me reminded me of him.  My world seemed like it was collapsing; I had no idea what I was going to do with all the things that meant so much to us. All those memories – the keepsakes of places we shared, birthday gifts and cards, didn’t mean much anymore.

Friday, in the pouring rain, I knelt in the mud and kissed your casket, whispering, “goodbye for good”.  In pain, I left you for the last time. Trembling and wondering, like the rest, of what was normal, has now changed. The limousine ride gave little relief – soaking wet!  I needed to change and get out of these wet things.

Early Saturday morning, after sorting and boxing, I walked to the edge of the drive. I stuck a sign in the ground, “Yard Sale”. Yes. All our many years of th97SJR9YA (2)matrimony, and a week later had turned into a yard sale. Sadly, the value on the memories was priceless, even though the little tags said fifty cents and all items in the box were a quarter.

The next day I went to church. I thought I sinned – selling your stuff; but as I was comforted by the congregation singing. There was, somehow, a peace in His presence.

I returned to your grave, reverently praying. I thought about how much I’m going to miss you. For what it’s worth, I grossed $357.60 – not very much for all the love we shared together.

Now, on our anniversary, I am going out to dinner to commemorate your life. There will never be another you! With sadness, I look back at all our many years of love, now only resolved to not much more than a “Yard Sale”.

Choices and Changes

….we all stand in the valley between the mountains of good and evil


Choices photo

Before the hot summer nights, or the bone chilling cold, and wrapped in warmth while embracing each other, we are created – not by love, but, by the Holy Spirit. We wonder out to destinations unknown; our trials uncounted; our faith to be tested. We’re off into the world of deception and converse. We watch our step, careful of hurts, as we plan our trip. Our desires are mapped, ever mindful of obstacles that could cause us to stumble. We all stand in the valley between the mountains of good and evil.

God watches and protects, though our choices may not be the best. Yet, He lets us wonder…patiently waiting as we walk through a path He has planted; knowing occasionally, we all get lost. As we walk along, you might encounter a little shower; but never fear, as even clouds of thunder have a silver lining.

So, here we are standing before our believer. Which believers do you follow….for the paranormal bears its faith that leads us on our course of completion. Our heavenly Father never needs advertising; but, counterparts go on the market – merchandising.

Yes, we all have choices, but, it’s the hard ones that God waits for us to make in life. After all, look at the choices He made for us. In His image, we are called to make similar. The link is ‘love’. In a night full of dark and loneliness – Satan never loves a soul – when footprints come from our heavenly Father above!

Prosecution Rests

God passes judgement upon hypocrites with too much power.


Fed up, I’m about to rewrite my messages from God, for the third time. It’s been a long time since this has happened, but, as I tell this story, Satan is adamant on destroying my message. So, now, is all the more reason I need to write this story.

As Father’s Day approached, I was faced with an altercation leaving me little choice than to be led by my faith.  God being first, I begged, borrowed, and stole to commit to my own convictions. Taking the gamble, which about broke me, I knew it was my duty to protect the love I so dearly care for today. Seeing Satan at every corner, God of course, was my only choice. Combating fire with fire the match was lit …..

Sometimes, I wonder why God challenges me to a task far beyond my qualifications. Knowing my limitations, and perplexed with situations, I rise to the challenge as faith leads me. Dealing with the devil reminds me, though, of dancing in the desert in a thunderstorm. Anticipating his next move, consequently, is a series of tactics that’s very unpredictable. Almost like a counterterrorist, we plot as the story thickens.

Regardless, I pray, God is near me.  Father-time has not been on my side, but, Father’s Day eve, my prayers were answered.  The good Lord offered me a hand and spared me the time to correct the evil that had gone on for the last two years. Determined to seek out and eliminate courtroom gavelthe lies, the truth is under suspicion. Where there is God, there is no doubt; so I stay ever prevalent to his Holy name.

My love for you, and committed to the loyalty of foregone wishes, I stand with you and hold your hand.  May no man hinder a mother’s Will. God passes judgement upon hypocrites with too much power. Like a nation under siege, I will watch you, enemy, falter. You cannot serve two Gods at the same time!