Satan Rains

No matter how dark the night gets, we can be reminded that joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30)

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A whistle blows, the signals turn, and a light glows deep within the tunnel. Engine wheels pound the ground as they roll over the rails and the sound intensifies to the beating inside your body. Your mind wanders as tensions tumble and frustrations rule. Confusion sets in like an afternoon thunderstorm, so you go to your family physician, and he runs the tests. Not feeling completely satisfied with the results, you’re given a follow-up appointment card for next month – another 30 days!

Soul-searching, you wonder how you got to this point. You ask your bathroom mirror, Where did I go wrong? How did I get into this predicament in the first place? So you climb into a steamy hot shower, hoping to cleanse that which ails your aching spirit. Though the water hypnotizes your nerves, nothing changes by the time you dry off with a warm towel.

Another restless night and morning comes with no conclusive evidence. But over a cup of morning coffee and an examination of your childhood, events you forgot over time creep back into your memory and Satan rains. An abusive lifestyle that your subconscious wanted you to forget, leaves you hopelessly disturbed and now your physician tries to analyze the mind that’s left. Pardoning those who are born with impairments such as ADHD and other similar ailments, I must discuss the mental illnesses that lend themselves to everyday circumstances – PTSD, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, depression, anxiety and other mood disorders.

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We are born as children of God which lends to my theory that we are perfection at birth. So, a Christian cannot help but wonder if most mental health problems are a consequence of the negative experiences called life.

I speak as a recipient of verbal abuse in my childhood years. If you fill a child’s mind full of negativity, they will grow up being the same – pessimistic and socially unaccepted. A hug and kiss each time you say goodbye to your child as they go out to play or school, will leave their little brain positive and confident.

Blaming some types of mental illnesses on chemical imbalances in the brain is like blaming children for their parents. Psychological disorders may be a cranium problem but abuse, of any nature, creates the same effect. One is not born with PTSD but rather a recipient of severe trauma experienced in a series of life events. People are not born severely depressed, anxious, panic-ridden, or suicidal. The root of these conditions are the negative experiences of life and perhaps even spiritual issues involving a division of the body and soul.

Though my feelings on this topic are of my own, I do sincerely sympathize with afflicted Christians. Knowing where I am in my life now compared to where I’ve been, justifies my analysis. But I believe the suffering of a mental illness could possibly be viewed as a gift. As a Christian why would you want a gift like this? The answer is simple. If you lean on God for the strength to conquer the battle, your faith and hope grow, developing compassion for others. The capacity to feel joy, peace and every other fruit is of God’s Holy Spirit.

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It is important to remind your children that they walk in Christ to avoid Satan raining in their minds. God is in the heart, soul, and mind of every person on earth. No matter how dark the night gets, be reminded that joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30).

Corinthians 5:16-17
“From now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view … Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here!”

 

The Hidden Signs

Christians and verbal abuse –

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Written by Anne L. Bicks, Editor for Dana Bicks LLC

 

I have a close friend who is a beautiful Christian woman—a regular participant in church activities and worship. She devoutly lives her life and is raising her children (from an earlier marriage) by the Ten Commandments. She married a Christian man  twenty-two years ago. With a beautiful future ahead of her, she has relished in the joy of holy matrimony.

One day, upon visiting her home, I witnessed her husband’s verbal abuse to both her and the children. Later, I approached his anger issues with her, and she made excuses for his behavior – “he’s stressed out from work,” “he’s tired,” “I’m not perfect either,” and even, “but he’s a good man!” Finally, in a weak moment, she admitted that leaving her marriage was not what God would intend for her to do. So, she would stay with him and pray for his salvation. As you can see, abuse is often more difficult to understand because, in public, the abuser is the perfect Christian. In private, however, they are a different person.

Most of us know someone who is verbally abused or perhaps you, personally, are involved in an abusive marriage. You understand that it is NOT God’s will for this to happen as angry and critical words destroy confidence and self-esteem. Verbal abuse is about having power and control over another human being – an un-Christlike drive to meet and keep dominance. Its harmful and destructive to everyone, including any children who may be part of the picture.

So, what are the hidden signs of an abuser? Here are some true indicators:

Do they withhold information?

Do they constantly counter and correct everything you say and do?

Do they take verbal jabs in the form of humor?

Do they accuse you of doing things that could harm the relationship?

Do they judge you and become critical of expressing your point of view?

Do they take something that is said or done and make it insignificant?

Do they undermine you by withholding emotional support?

Do they threaten you? This may include threatening to leave or threatening to get a divorce.

Do they call you names?

Do they consistently forget about the promises they have made which are most important you?

Do they give orders instead of asking, treating you like a slave or subordinate?

Do they use the Bible as a weapon against you – usually taking things out of context?

Do they isolate you from family and friends and insist on knowing your every move?

Do they deny you access to financial information or accounts or prevent you from attending school or getting a job?

Do they mock you or put you down?

Do they accuse you of being controlling, disrespectful, unsubmissive, and self-important?

Are they in denial they are verbally abusive?

 

If two or more of these questions may be answered with a “YES,” the chances are very likely that an abusive personality is in your midst. A verbal abuser doesn’t characterize the truth that comes from God. They are being used by Satan to accomplish his evil plans. If marriage partners are truly seeking to honor Christ, they will not want to hurt each other, but instead, encourage each other. The Bible clearly warns us about the dangers of being in the presence of an angry person:

 

Proverbs 22:24
“Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man.”

and….

Proverbs 29:22
“An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression.”

 

As is so often asked, is there hope that some abusers can change? The answer is yes, but with certain stipulations. It begins by recognizing verbal abuse for what it is and taking deliberate and immediate steps to stop it and bring healing. The abuser needs to repent!

Sadly, most Christian women are less likely to seek help, because many believe the Bible says they must submit to their husband regardless of his behavior (as in the case of my friend). Being submissive in a marriage does not mean allowing yourself to be verbally beaten by your partner! The best chance a marriage has of surviving verbal abuse is to seek professional help. God does call for us to be good stewards of our physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, sexual and financial health.

Some important things to note:

#1: Know that God loves you!

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#2: Understand that verbal abuse is NOT YOUR FAULT! You may be feeling that the problems in your marriage are caused by you or that you’re a bad person. Deal with the feelings of guilt and shame through a parish or a professional Christian counselor. Build a support system!

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As Christians, and on behalf of the unity of the church, let us pray –
Dear God,

You are the God of all comfort. We pray for those who have been abused within our churches and across our nation. Have compassion upon all who suffer the injustice, humiliation and pain of abuse. During their stressful circumstances, give them courage to speak. May your perfect love drive out fear and anxiety. We humbly ask you to create opportunities for these men, women and children to share their pain, reveal their struggles and expose the hurtful actions of others. Strengthen them with Your precious love. We humbly plead these things in the name of our Lord.

Amen.

 


EDITOR’S NOTE:
I found a wonderful article written by a Christian woman who lived through an abusive marriage. I would like to share it with you –

https://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2009/january/myabusivechristianmarriage

The Silenced

A Christian’s View of Domestic Violence

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In the solitude, I listen to the temper of many contained in an environment of unforgiving. I, too, stand in the congregation and see the smiles like fake news. I wonder if your joy may be camouflaged. You look so pretty dressed up in your Sunday attire; your hair is curled – “putting on the dog”, it was once called. But I watch the language of your husband as he hums along with the choir, forgetting the words. He stares over to see who you’re watching in the congregation. Like blinders on a horse, your eyes only focus forward. The pastor speaks his last words, “Go in peace,” and you’re the first out the door.

Arriving home, the bedroom door slams and his ultimate persuasiveness begins like a lecture from the pulpit. You just can’t wait until Monday morning when you hand him his lunch pail, turn your cheek, and wish him well. So you build a world where no one’s allowed, only God and he’s on hold. Your world has caved while looking for an escape from the abuse that never takes a break. Dinner is on the table and he is tied to your apron strings. You begin to recite grace, but it does no good.

 

Psalm 11:5
The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.

 

The week begins just like the last week ended – accusations and demands coming from malice. He’s his father’s son. Only his mother knows the hell she put up with when he was very young. Like the family farm, the recipe is passed on. The abuse becomes intolerable, and love becomes a routine. Romance is a world you built deep within your mind. There’s no peace on the outside as Dr. Jekyll thrives. You tiptoe like a child that comes in after curfew.

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Domestic violence comes in many shapes, not necessarily gender oriented or form. I, too, share the pain as many on the outside never saw the trauma I lived at home. Give your suffering to God for it is the only way out! Living with scars of a broken home resonates for generations, both past, and present.

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I read the clips of those I know are mistreated by their family and peers. Where has God gone when the choir begins? Your sacraments of holiness are never enough. Being judged by a dirty microscope shows every blemish. Who, though, are we to make that call just because that’s way it used to be? You become a person with little left for God to see. You’re whittled to the size of a toothpick and pray for a mustard seed.

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But as the sun breaks through upon your escape, you will discover there is another world….one of love and beauty. God anoints the living. You call it “a lease on life” – getting out of the web Satan held you captive in for many years. Yes, this is the works of Satan and his angels!

 

Remember you’re not alone! Reach out to the non-judgmental and let our almighty Lord renew you from the inside out. Praise God! He has saved you so serve others in His name. God’s desire for those involved with domestic violence—both victims and abusers—is healing and wholeness.

You are loved! God bless, God speed…….

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A Christian’s View of Domestic Violence

 

Why would God allow such a thing to happen to me?? Does God really love me?? Where was He when I was being abused? Why God, can’t you help me to change him/her?? I’m a Christian – I can’t leave!

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All are justifiable questions that “the abused” do ask. Understand that abusers have unresolved issues that have led them to violence, perhaps routing back to childhood. If an abuser is willing to admit his or her wrongful deeds and desires help, there is hope. But it is important to know that the vast majority of them do not feel the problem is within themselves. Marriage counseling is not an appropriate solution. So healing has to begin with YOU!

 

1 Corinthians 7:15

But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.

 

Undergo individual counseling, especially Christian counseling, to go through the healing process. If children are involved, family therapy. Children should never be put into an abusive situation or be expected to remain in one! Watching or hearing a parent being abused will have severe psychological implications. They learn by example so let them witness you taking the lead.

Psalm 127:3

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”

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Join a support group with other survivors. “Outsiders”, cannot understand the web you broke through so look for love and comfort from those who can identify with your situation.

 

Allow time to heal before starting another relationship. The magic formula is half the time you spent within the walls of that confinement.

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Read anything and everything you can about domestic violence – particularly books of narcissism. Seek understanding.

 

 

Serve our Lord! Join bible study groups at church; if financial means allow, take a mission trip; help the poor by participating in homeless shelters; sit with Seniors at nursing homes. You will find your worth, once again, in others.

Matthew 20: 26-28

Jesus told His disciples, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many”

 

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Local police stations can take you and your children to a shelter for assistance. Safety is first!

Psalm 72:14
From oppression and violence he redeems their life, and precious is their blood in his sight.