Rocking back and forth, staring at the stars, they sparkle and bring such luster below. Solar lights glimmer in the dark. The moon, almost full, shines from the heavens and glows on my patio. Thinking back to childhood, sin abated my older brother and I. We are God’s chosen but we carried the hell our parents created. Never understanding, we would walk to school in the early sunny morn’ and home in the afternoon to the rain and thunder. We were unable to explain or comprehend them.
But my big brother was lucky for he ran away — as far as you can imagine – to the Mediterranean. He hid at the bottom of the deep blue with fish and monsters we’ve never seen. I wasn’t so lucky. I went a couple of miles down the street to the community college and faced the music every night.
Long after Pop’s passing, I was sheltered in reality; the past haunted me. There in my mother’s Polly Anna world of bridge clubs and egg nog, a socialite amongst her pillars, I was lost in the waves where the grain wasn’t so amber.
My brother married, leaving me in confusion of the future where only God knew the outcome. But coming from a broken home and then a complete loss, I had nowhere to run. Marriage was the only vise, but failure after failure left little hope. My brother and I both shared the consequences of our parent’s passing long after he was gone.
But yesterday, fifty years later, my brother now writes, “We commemorate that by grace, together, we have somehow come this far; and still today we miss our father’s love. He didn’t share in our lives as we suffered in our tribulations.” Sadly, I responded to my brothers thoughts, “I cannot imagine where we might be had our ladder been labeled by our father’s love.”
Today I think about all those who will relate. Can we ever break the chain of disaster, the aftermath, generations later? Looking at the repercussions from six decades ago of the final decree, disgraces me. To believe they were watching out on our behalf is almost comical, if it wasn’t so sad. So many children are left like Lord of the rings, begging for attention; hungering remains where hearts are left empty. Today as close as two siblings can be, (without killing each other), our love and respect protects us.
In the end, as the sun sets on another commemorative year, I just pray… may God bless, not just us, but all the lonely, parentless children whose lives are unfulfilled; for He knows those who hunger for salvation, still…..
BIBLE: But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. [Malachi 2:14-15]